From YL to Cru

Today is May 4, 2012. That means 16 days until I graduate from college and 3 months and 9 days until I leave for Ghana. Wow. Today being May 4th also means that tomorrow is May 5th, the Sioux Falls Young Life leadership retreat. I am so excited for the leadership retreat. I love our team, and spending the day with everyone will be great.

I'm also nervous for our leadership retreat. Not because of anything that will happen, but for what it means. Tomorrow is my last YL leadership retreat for at least a year. And that scares me. Don't get me wrong; I am excited to follow God's calling to Ghana. But I will definitely miss Young Life. If anything would keep from following God to Ghana, it would be Young Life.

Thankfully, God is so good. And he's giving me the strength to follow him away from the comforts of home, Young Life, and ministry with some of my closest friends. I've been experiencing tension as I try to cope with this change, this transition from one ministry family to another.

God is SO good that he's been gracious enough to give me a great ministry family for Ghana. Seriously, they are awesome; after one weekend with those seven other people on fire for God and the people of Ghana, I wanted to be with them for a year. But it's still a struggle.

I was thinking about all God has done to confirm the choice of Ghana for me, and I think you might be blessed to know just how faithful our God has been to me.

One night about two weeks ago, I was so scared to hear what God had to say to me about the future. I was afraid to leave my awesome YL team and friends that I depend on more than I should. But God reminded me of his call to Moses. When I wanted to hold onto all that I knew, God showed me a man who walked away from his comforts because God did not give him any other choice. God made Moses fully dependent on him. God used Moses for some huge things.

I, Kayla, would rather hide under my blankie with my teddy bear than be told that I will be doing huge things. But I feel God's call to big things. Yikes. God used a burning bush to draw Moses in to take a closer look at God's plan for Moses. Maybe God's using my excitement for Ghana to draw me in to take a closer look at his plan for me. Once again, yikes.

I want to simply say, "Who am I to do these things?" But God showed Moses and is showing me that it's not about us. It's about him. He is the one who does such things. I have to accept that. I am offered a place within that. How can I resist that?

Moses asks some pretty simple and even silly questions. If you've ever seen me freaking out about small things, I ask ridiculous questions. If you're looking for a good story, RiAnna can tell you about my questions before my first step off of the zip-line tower at YL camp. Thankfully, our God patiently answered all of Moses questions, and he will faithfully answer all of mine. God knows how I'll respond to him and his work. He is going to plan out my future for his good; and he's so good that his good is my good as well. Praise God!

God's going to work through my insecurities, my weaknesses. And when I think I can't do it without human support, he's going to give me an Aaron. I already have a great Aaron figure in my life. She is marvelous. She has the boldness I lack; she speaks when I am too afraid to do so. I love her. I will miss her. It's hard to imagine serving God without her as my co-servant. But like I said earlier, God is so faithful. He wants good for me and for Morgan. He's going to give us both a new Aaron figure to work with and allow us to continue our friendship. Yay God!

And in the midst of all of his fears, Moses WENT. He followed God into the chaos of Egypt. He knew it would be tough, new, scary. But he went with God and with Aaron. Moses inspires me. Seeing God's faithfulness to Moses, helps me go. I will GO. I will follow God into whatever is in store in Ghana. I know it will be tough, new, and scary. But I am going into Ghana with God and with seven Aarons.

My friends, our God is so good. I'm scared of what following him entails because I have to die to myself. But I am excited to live in and for him. This is going to be good. I pray that God can give all of us the courage to GO when he draws us in and tells us his great plans to glorify himself. If you want to dig into God's faithfulness to Moses in the midst of his call, spend some time in Exodus 3 and 4. I'm continuing to look to that passage for hope and a reminder of the character of our God.