I Don't Call Myself a Missionary

I have nothing against the word. I like the meaning. Dicitionary.com defines a missionary as "a person sent by a church into an area to carry on evangelism or other activities, as educational or hospital work" or "a person who is sent on a mission". I agree with those definitions, and if we're going with just that, I suppose I am a missionary.

But in our culture, the word "missionary" means so much more. Missionaries are easily seen as "super Christians," the hardcore fanatics who are excited about adventures and have little connection to their homeland. Missionaries are the people who have the whole Bible memorized (or at least the New Testament). Missionaries are fearless. They love to embrace new things.
And it is that cultural definition that allows me to say, "I don't call myself a missionary."
I am not a "super Christian." I am an ordinary Christian who screws up and sins often. I follow Jesus, but I don't follow him perfectly.

I am very attached to South Dakota. I am scared of the adventures that God invites to experience. 

I do not have the Bible memorized. I can paraphrase parts of it. And thanks to one of my teammates last year, I can recite the first five verses of Romans 6 and stumble through the rest of the chapter. As much as I wish I was a Bible expert, I am not even close.

I am not fearless. I am a coward. I am afraid of new things. I am so, so far from fearless.

But I love Jesus. And he helps me lay aside my fears for his sake.
You see, I'm just a normal, wreck of a young woman. I just see things like this, and I'm not okay with it. (Sorry it's a link. It wasn't cooperating nicely to be embedded. But it's still worth watching, so follow the link before you continue reading, please.)

That video talks about countries that I love, that I have been to, that I am going to, that I've always wanted to go to, and that I have never considered going to. 

The fact that there are people who have no hope whatsoever all around the world, makes me willing to do the whole "missionary gig". Because this isn't about me or my bravery or my sense of adventure. This is about God and his glory and the fact that he is worthy of being known and worshiped all over the world. 

And even if I wasn't going overseas, my life would be lived as one sent on a mission. Because we're all sent on a mission, and most of us are blessed to be sent to places so close to our hearts. 

I don't call myself a missionary. I'm just a girl who loves Jesus and wants to see others love him too.