God has been teaching
me, and teaching me, and teaching me about joy these past two years. Unlike when I was in South Dakota, joy does
not come easily. It’s something I have to choose. It’s something I have to search
for in the mix of life.
If you are a regular reader, I assume you already know that.
I feel like my posts have been a downer later. I know that’s okay, but it can
get old.
Don’t worry; this post is not focused on the current difficulties
of life.
Cru explains the phases of adjusting to life overseas
through a little diagram (similar to many other organizations). It begins with a “honeymoon” phase where everything is
different and awesome. SO MUCH EXCITEMENT. Then you fall into the “pit of despair.”
When I was in Ghana, I think the “honeymoon” was saved for the end of my time
there, and I stayed in the “pit of despair” until then. While waiting in the
pit, I wrote about what God was teaching me about joy as I had to search for it
and choose it daily.
But after the “pit of despair” comes “normalization.” I like
to think I’m on the upswing from the “pit of despair” and headed toward a new "normal." That could just be
wishful thinking, but I have hope that things will be more than okay these next
few months. And that hope comes from Jesus, not circumstances, so it’s a
confident expectation. I am confidently expecting that I will not remain in my “pit
of despair” forever.
Today, two of my friends announced how fabulous Rend Collective Experiment’s new album “The Art of Celebration” is. I previewed it
on iTunes and then purchased it.
As I listened to their new album, I sat on my balcony
watching the sea birds soar and listening to their squawking and the waves. It
was wonderful. I would probably still be out there, but the bats came out. The
blind bats were flying much closer to my balcony than the birds, and it was
getting chilly as the sun set, so I chickened out and went inside.
But anyway, while sitting and watching the birds, I heard
Rend Collective Experiment’s song “Joy.” It naturally made me think of my experiences
of and lessons on joy from the past two years.
We’re choosing celebration,
breaking into freedom.
You’re the song,
You’re the song of our hearts.
We cast aside our shadows,
trust You with our sorrows.
You’re the song,
You’re the song of our hearts.
We’re dancing to the rhythm of Your heart.
We’re rising from the ashes to the stars.
You’re the joy, joy, joy lighting my soul,
the joy, joy, joy making me whole.
Though I'm broken I am running
into your arms of love.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey!
Whoa, whoa.
The pain will not define us;
joy will reignite us.
You’re the song,
You’re the song of our hearts.
The dark is just a canvas
for Your grace and brightness.
You’re the song,
You’re the song of our hearts.
We’re dancing to the rhythm of Your heart.
We’re rising from the ashes to the stars.
You’re the joy, joy, joy lighting my soul,
the joy, joy, joy making me whole.
Though I'm broken I am running
into your arms of love.
Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa. Hey!
In the shadows, in the sorrows,
in the desert, when the pain hits
You are constant, ever-present;
You're the song of my heart.
You’re the joy, joy, joy lighting my soul,
the joy, joy, joy making me whole.
Though I'm broken I am running
into your arms of love.
It's more than a catchy tune. The lyrics grabbed me. I went online to learn more about their album. In an interview, vocalist Chris Llewellyn said, "The album centers on the theme of choosing joy and celebration in all seasons and we tried to make it sound like that -- to sound like fun. It's a concept album -- but if we were to out a track that captures the ethos it has to be the opener 'Joy'. I love that the first line of the album is 'we're choosing celebration'. Worship and celebration always begins with a choice" (emphasis added.)
Last month, I was walking from my apartment to the city center. I was so cranky. Our power kept going out in our apartment, my electronic devices were all dead, and I was walking into the center to find a place with outlets and good coffee. The problem was, in our two weeks in the city, I hadn't found a place like that yet. Every place I had found offered a smoky haze and terrible coffee. I hadn't found a refuge in that city. I didn't realize until that walk how much my lack of refuge bothered me. In an internal conversation with God (I refuse to talk out loud when I am in public. I already stick out enough.), I thought, "I just want something in which I can find comfort and joy in this city other than You."
Ouch. That was my problem. I had nothing in my life that I could find comfort and joy in other than God. I realized that I don't always choose to find my joy in Jesus.
No wonder joy had been difficult to find. The world can't satisfy my deepest longings. I know that. Sometimes my heart just forgets that truth like it did that day.
But I love knowing, like the lyrics say, though I'm broken, I can run into God's arms of love. God is the joy who lights my soul and makes me whole. The pain of attempting to learn how to readjust each month as we move does not define me. God will shine his grace and brightness into the pain and darkness. I can trust him with all my sorrows. (And I will do so without minimizing my sorrow or pain. God is not one to minimize sorrow or pain in an attempt to create false happiness. I want to follow his example in dealing with sorrow and pain.)
In all of this, I am learning that choosing celebration, choosing joy, really does break into freedom.
Yesterday, one of my teammates and I met with a guy who doesn't want Jesus -- or rather, he doesn't want the church. That guy reminds me of my brother; they have similar interests, attitudes, and life views. If he and my brother met, they would definitely become great friends over a few beers and cigarettes. The guy was honest. He was real, and he invited my teammate and me into his life -- the raw mess that it is.
He defined himself as "a free bird." We chatted about freedom and each described what freedom means to us.
I am learning that freedom means that I don't have to have it all together. I don't have to automatically have joy each morning, which is so good because I am most certainly not a morning person. (Seriously, please do not talk to me in the first thirty minutes I am awake unless we agreed it's okay. And please don't sing. I can't handle happy singers in the early morning.)
I am free to be me. I am free to choose to find joy in Jesus even when nothing in life seems to be a reason to rejoice. I am beginning to see that when I choose joy, I notice more of my freedom. When I choose joy, I see that my soul is able to be a free bird. It can soar. It can dream. It can rest. Choosing joy creates more opportunities to choose joy; it makes it easier to see the source of joy. Choosing joy makes it easier to see how God is at work redeeming me, us, and the world. And that makes it so much easier to embrace freedom and soar.
Last month, I was walking from my apartment to the city center. I was so cranky. Our power kept going out in our apartment, my electronic devices were all dead, and I was walking into the center to find a place with outlets and good coffee. The problem was, in our two weeks in the city, I hadn't found a place like that yet. Every place I had found offered a smoky haze and terrible coffee. I hadn't found a refuge in that city. I didn't realize until that walk how much my lack of refuge bothered me. In an internal conversation with God (I refuse to talk out loud when I am in public. I already stick out enough.), I thought, "I just want something in which I can find comfort and joy in this city other than You."
Ouch. That was my problem. I had nothing in my life that I could find comfort and joy in other than God. I realized that I don't always choose to find my joy in Jesus.
No wonder joy had been difficult to find. The world can't satisfy my deepest longings. I know that. Sometimes my heart just forgets that truth like it did that day.
But I love knowing, like the lyrics say, though I'm broken, I can run into God's arms of love. God is the joy who lights my soul and makes me whole. The pain of attempting to learn how to readjust each month as we move does not define me. God will shine his grace and brightness into the pain and darkness. I can trust him with all my sorrows. (And I will do so without minimizing my sorrow or pain. God is not one to minimize sorrow or pain in an attempt to create false happiness. I want to follow his example in dealing with sorrow and pain.)
In all of this, I am learning that choosing celebration, choosing joy, really does break into freedom.
Yesterday, one of my teammates and I met with a guy who doesn't want Jesus -- or rather, he doesn't want the church. That guy reminds me of my brother; they have similar interests, attitudes, and life views. If he and my brother met, they would definitely become great friends over a few beers and cigarettes. The guy was honest. He was real, and he invited my teammate and me into his life -- the raw mess that it is.
He defined himself as "a free bird." We chatted about freedom and each described what freedom means to us.
I am learning that freedom means that I don't have to have it all together. I don't have to automatically have joy each morning, which is so good because I am most certainly not a morning person. (Seriously, please do not talk to me in the first thirty minutes I am awake unless we agreed it's okay. And please don't sing. I can't handle happy singers in the early morning.)
I am free to be me. I am free to choose to find joy in Jesus even when nothing in life seems to be a reason to rejoice. I am beginning to see that when I choose joy, I notice more of my freedom. When I choose joy, I see that my soul is able to be a free bird. It can soar. It can dream. It can rest. Choosing joy creates more opportunities to choose joy; it makes it easier to see the source of joy. Choosing joy makes it easier to see how God is at work redeeming me, us, and the world. And that makes it so much easier to embrace freedom and soar.
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How will you choose celebration? How do you break into freedom? In what areas of your life is God asking you to find your joy in him rather than in other things?
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