Singleness

Today is December 22nd. Today is my one year of singleness celebration! It really is a celebration. This year of singleness is way better than the alternative year of engagement/marriage. God has blessed me tremendously. And I've learned a lot of things through this. I figured one good way to celebrate is to share some of the stuff I've learned. Here we go!

1. I actually found some of my worth in my relationship with Tim. I didn't realize that until our relationship was over. So sick. My worth is meant to be in Christ not my relationship status. God doesn't love me any less when I'm single. In fact, He's rejoicing with me in my singleness because I'm following Him in it.
2. It's better to be transparent than to fake perfection. Tim and I hid all of our issues. We wanted to have the image of a perfect relationship. Only four of my friends knew how bad our relationship was, and that's because three of them lived with me while the other was my accountability partner. My break-up with Tim was a shock to everyone other than those four friends. That made it so much harder than it needed to be. Explaining months of crappy relationship to a lot of people is very difficult. It would have been so much easier on everyone if I would have been honest from the beginning. Thankfully, God's helping me to be more transparent now.
3. Marriage isn't a WHEN but an IF. We're not promised marriage, so we shouldn't say "When I get married..." but "If I get married..." I knew this was true while I was engaged, but now I get to practice this truth.
4. "It's better not to be married than to be married poorly." (USF's Dr. Gregg) AMEN!! That's why I'm single, folks! This is better. Not like Tim's a bad guy because he's not. Our relationship was just bad and God was calling us to other things. Sure, I could have stayed with Tim, but this is better. And it's easier - such a nice bonus.
5. You should never date someone to please others. Duh, right? But if we're honest, my family is the reason I stayed with Tim for so long. They loved him. I also loved him, but whenever I considered ending our relationship, I thought of my family. I didn't want to hurt them so I continued to fake a good relationship with Tim. Not necessary. So foolish. My family loves me! Even though they loved Tim, they know that this break-up is a good thing. They miss him, but they're glad I broke up with him rather than married him for them. They wouldn't have liked that. They like this better.
6. IF I get married, my husband will be awesome. He'll be worth the wait. And if I don't get married, my life as a single gal will be the greatest possible future for me. I believe that. I'm still hoping I am blessed with a husband someday though.
7. IF I get married, I'm going to be prepared to be a godly wife. That's how I realized my relationship with Tim needed to end; I wasn't prepared to be a godly wife. I was a jerk. In my interactions with Tim, I lacked everything in 1 Peter 3:8-9. This past year, one of my prayers has been that God would make me more into a 1 Peter 3 woman. He's answering. Yay God!

    

   Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it.
8. God's a healer. He's healed my broken heart. I no longer miss Tim. I no longer have nightmares about this; they took a long time to end, but they're gone. God's healing me. God's redeeming me.
9. The people that love me are always going to support my decision even when it's hard for them. They'll trust me. And they'll face the repercussions with me.
10. My life is meant to please the LORD - not people. Yep. And that's now what I'm trying to do. I'm in Ghana for no one other than the LORD. I broke up with Tim for no one other than the LORD. And that's how all of my decisions are meant to be made.

God is a faithful Father. He cares about my struggle with singleness. He cares about my heart. He wants my heart to seek after Him, not a man. And that's so great. My worth is found in Him. My relationship with Him is more than enough. Seriously, more than enough. Sometimes I forget that, but it's true. He's all I need. He's all you need too.

And on days when those truths are hard to remember, trust, and rest in, He'll remind us. He'll meet us. God is that faithful of a Father.

Some days this is hard, but every day this is good.