Confession involves vulnerability. In order to confess, you have to be real; you have to be honest. Yikes. We live in a culture that doesn't promote honesty. We prefer being sensitive to the responses of others; that's a good thing, but honesty is better. We also live in a culture that respects witty sarcasm. I love sarcasm, but I'm realizing more and more that when I use sarcasm, it's primarily because I don't want to be vulnerable. (Friends, I am resolving to be unsarcastic. Desarcasmifying myself is going to be a long process, but I know it will be good and will build up those around me. When I'm sarcastic toward you, please call me out on it.)
Being vulnerable isn't always hard, but it can be when we have to share the tough stuff - the icky stuff.
While my team has been in Kumasi, we have decided to create an environment for students to be vulnerable and freely confess. It has been one of our greatest desires since September. Back then, we shared some scripture with our students:
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. (James 5:16)
God's so gracious, that he included community in the process of being healed from our sins.
Here's a confession: I have been so willing to listen to others confess and pray for them and their healing, but I've struggled to confess my own sins. I have had wonderful women share tough stuff with me, and I didn't share anything too difficult in return.
But things changed this past week. A wonderful woman was beautifully real with me. She took a risk; she confessed her sin. And I still love her. After our conversation, I realized that I should follow her example. I finally caught on! I confessed sin that I was previously too ashamed to speak of in an empty room. And she still loves me!
That love has the power to heal because it's a small reflection of the Father's love.
If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. (1 John 1:8-9)It's so easy to forget his faithfulness and forgiveness when we are lost in the regret of our past sin. I think that's part of why God tells us to confess to each other. When we confess to another person, we can physically hear the words of forgiveness the Father desires to speak over us. It makes the experience more real. It brings healing.
I'm not saying we should go to any random Christian and confess our deepest junk. I'm not going to do that. In his book Your God is Too Safe, Mark Buchanan explains to whom we should confess:
“The person should be wise, mature in the faith, aware of her own frailty, honest about her own sin and weakness. She should be earthy, able to laugh. She needs to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. She needs to be someone who is not shocked by sin but is frequently grieved by it, in herself as much as in others. She needs to be trustworthy, not given to gossip. She needs to be truly pursuing God. She needs, above all and in all, to love. She can know the worst about you, and she’ll use that knowledge to pray for you and help you and not hurt you. Her love should cover over a multitude of sins.”(Since I'm a girl, all of the pronouns are feminine. If you're a boy, reread them as masculine pronouns.)
That's what confession is meant to be: an experience of forgiveness, a covering of sin, healing, and a deeper understanding of love.
We don't need to hide our crap. We don't need to carry our shame. We need to listen to Jesus:
"Healthy people don't need a doctor - sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent." (Luke 5:11-12)We need to be real about our sickness. We need to confess, and we need to trust that our God forgives and redeems. Confession is good - sometimes painfully difficult, but always good.
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