I tried to be present this year. I've been praying about the future, but I tried to procrastinate decisions about next year for as long as possible.
I have a pretty good idea of what my life will look like next year! We'll get to that part soon.
When I decided last year to re-intern with Cru overseas, it was a hard choice. I knew that it was the best choice, but I didn't want it. I wanted to return home and stay home for awhile. I missed South Dakota too much. I didn't want to keep missing it. But I couldn't bring myself to choose to go home and stay. It seemed wrong. I knew God was inviting me into another year overseas, and I had a deep conviction that to say "no" to that invitation would be direct disobedience to him.
So I said "yes." It's been a good year in a lot of ways. It's been a hard year in all ways.
I have been asking God to let me go home after my second year overseas since last April when I found out I would be in Eastern Europe this year.
In October, I really hashed it out with God. I had no idea what he would invite me into in the future, but I made it very clear that if the choice was mine, I would go back to South Dakota. If he strongly invited me into a life overseas, I would say "yes" again; it just had to be very, very clear. If he didn't clearly invite me into it, I would move home.
Honestly, I thought God would make it clear I should be overseas. I was waiting and waiting for that call. I didn't fully want it, but I thought it would come anyway. I have a choice; I always have a choice, but sometimes, the best option is evident.
But this time, it was different. There was no obvious answer. It was fully my choice.
I waited and waited. God continued to show me that both options are good. If I chose to live overseas long-term, it would be good. If I chose to return home, it would be good too.
I was shocked. I asked God to let me choose to go home, and he did!
I am going home. I am returning to South Dakota in 7.5 weeks with no plane ticket to leave the country again.
There are blessings within that fact to rejoice over. There are uncertainties in that fact that make my stomach queasy.
Let's cover the blessings first.
I am moving back to Sioux Falls. I have been asking God to give me great opportunities to serve him there, and he has!
Over the course of three days last week, God blessed me with a job, a new ministry to begin, and a place to live. God is actually blessing my decision and desire to return to South Dakota. He is too good to me.
Next year I will continue working with Cru, but it will be part-time. I'll join the Upper Midwest region's team and work on digital strategies. I get to experiment with social media and other digital platforms in an attempt to reach college students with the gospel in the Upper Midwest. This is something that I pursued out of curiosity, and God blessed it. I am still amazed that this is working out. It will be a year full of adventure even though I'll be living in one place.
I am returning to Sioux Falls Young Life! My heart is so happy! I miss the YL family. I miss loving on and sharing life with high school girls. It'll be strange to return to a ministry that has changed so much these past two years, but I am still excited. This will be so good.
God has been changing my heart and vision for ministry since I read a book called Missing Stars, Fallen Sparrows by Nick Palermo. (A future post will explain more about the book and the adventure it took me on.) Nick's book is about Young Life Capernaum which focuses on young adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities. I am returning to Sioux Falls Young Life with the prayer and vision of starting Capernaum in Sioux Falls. A few conversations last week helped me see that other people are on board with this dream. I have permission from my YL Area Director to pursue this ministry! I am beyond excited to see what God has in store for this dream which he gave me and blessed.
I am rooming with my dear friend and former roommate from my freshman year of college. When I first decided to return home, I was so nervous about finding a roommate. And then this happened. I am so blessed. I can move in with her and her current roommates as soon as I return home (which is June 16), and on August 1, we will move into our own apartment.
It won't be nearly as awesome as our cozy little dorm though!
But we will still have coloring parties. Feel free to visit us. Our dorm room was a fun place to be five years ago; I'm sure our apartment will be a winner too.
There are so many good blessings to thank God for, and I am so thankful. He is graciously indulging my desire to go home. He gave me an incredible job, a wonderful ministry opportunity, and a roommate I love and know can handle living with me. That roommate also knows what it's like to leave for a year and return to Sioux Falls. She's going to be such a blessing during my chaotic transition.
There are a few hard things that come along with the blessing. I will sign a lease. I will be committed to staying in Sioux Falls for at least a year. After moving every month this year, that will be hard. I have become antsy. I look forward to moving; I don't like saying goodbye to people, but I have come to enjoy the anticipation of the mystery behind a new city.
I don't know when I will see more of the world. That scares me. I love the world. I miss Ghana so much. I miss countries I have been this year. I will so greatly miss Macedonia and all of Eastern Europe. I will be in South Dakota with no plane ticket to a new overseas adventure.
I know I will travel more. I know I will see the world. I just don't know when, and that makes me nervous.
But I know this is good. I have no doubts that this whole Sioux Falls adventure is a great gift from our loving Dad. I asked him for it, and he said "yes."
It will be one intense adventure. I will know the language. I will know how to get from point A to point B. I will have Caribou Coffee again. I will be in the same time zone and even state as family and old friends. I know that this is good. Going home will help me see if there are more adventures to be had in South Dakota or America, if there are more adventures to be had overseas, or if it's a delightful combination of all of the above.
Thanks for tracking with me in my adventures so far, friends. I am thankful that you will continue to journey with me on this adventure back home.
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