My siblings and I constantly joke about who is the favorite child. I even sign all of my cards, letters, and postcards as "Your favorite child, Kayla." My mom plays along. She joins with us in joking about how she favors one over the other based on who gets to borrow her truck or who is asked to unload the dishwasher. Thankfully, it really is all a joke. That's why it's still fun. My mom has a sense of humor.
When I was little, my mom cared about what I had to share with the world. We have so many home videos of my mom saying, "Okay, Kayla. What did you want to sing?... Now you can show me your cartwheel.... Now you can read me that Elmo book...." My mom made me believe that my thoughts, my songs, my stories, my dances, and my read-alouds were important. My mom made me feel so loved through this.
My mom taught me to wait my turn to talk. She helped me realize that I don't need to interrupt others to blurt out my thoughts. If my great grandma stopped talking to take a breath, everyone will. My mom helped me be a patient listener through this simple lesson.
My mom hates, hates, hates shopping. I like to take her shopping with me so that I can leave sooner because I don't really like shopping either. And her cranky comments are great. She really hates shopping.
My mom helped me see that people matter more than performance. When my mom would go to parent teacher conferences, she always asked about how I interacted with others. She cared about my grades and learning, but she cared about how I treated others more. My mom taught me to stand up for the underdog and that bullies aren't that scary. Whenever my mom would come home from those conferences, she told me what my teacher's said about how I treated others. It wasn't until I asked her about my grades that she even thought about them. It's kind of neat to see how my mom's priority gave me the desire to see social justice on a broader scale.
My mom is hospitable. People constantly pop into her house unexpected. She doesn't kick them out. Even if she's busy and stressed, she welcomes them in, listens to their stories, and cares for them well.
My mom trusts me and supports my decisions. When I was about to end a relationship with a man that my entire family loved, I told my mom first. I was terrified; I thought she would be so disappointed. She wanted that man to be a part of her family, and I was taking him away from her. My mom wasn't even slightly disappointed. My mom knew I was making the right decision. She didn't fully understand it, but she trusted me and loved me.
My mom also supported my decision to intern overseas. It was hard to hear me say I was going to Ghana, but I think it was even harder to hear me say that I was going to leave again for Europe. My mom cried (with me), but she still supported me. She even told my dad to soften the blow that it would be for him. Even when my mom doesn't fully understand my decisions, she is still on my side.
My mom loves country music. When I am homesick, I listen to country music, and it makes me feel better. There are lots of sweet memories of my childhood that involve country music. (And there are lots of not-so-sweet memories that involve Phil Collins and the band Meatloaf. Those two will never be the same for me. They were too over-played for this kid.)
When I was in high school, my best friend and I were obsessed with Christian rock music festivals. My mom went on road trips with us so that we could go to festivals hours away from home. My mom would take two music-crazed high school girls across state lines for a weekend of listening to music she didn't really enjoy. I think I just realized how awesome and generous of her that is.
My mom is compassionate. She's a regular at a certain gas station, and she talks with the employees there. If they are having a hard or long day at work, my mom says she will bring them supper. After my mom cooks supper, she loads up a paper plate, covers it with Saran wrap, and drives to the gas station to visit her friend. She eats later, whenever she gets home. My mom cares for others well.
My mom doesn't understand wrestling. Or cheerleading. I don't either. My sister is a cheerleader for wrestling, and my mom and I were able to go cheer on my sister together when I was home in February. I felt like less of an idiot with my clueless mom sitting next to me.
My mom runs a daycare, and she always makes sure the kids are excited to see me. She talks me up to them so that even the new kids that I haven't met are beyond excited to know that I am around and they all want to sit or play with me. It's really sweet of her, and it was really nice to grow up with so many kids around.
My mom learned how to e-mail and Skype to talk with me these last two years. My mom is pretty technologically challenged (or really just ignorant), so this is a big sacrifice. Her e-mails tend to be hilarious (mainly because they are about her daycare kids doing ridiculous things and contain no punctuation). I know my mom is sacrificially loving me whenever I get a new e-mail from her or whenever she sits around on a Sunday afternoon waiting for my internet to work so that we can Skype.
My mom doesn't make me eat food I don't like anymore. She used to. I once sat at the supper table for more than an hour staring at cold meatloaf. My mom made me finish it. I smothered it in ketchup and choked it down. But my mom doesn't do that anymore. If she makes meatloaf, pork chops, or fish, she makes sure there is something in the house that I can eat instead.
My mom loves my dad more than she loves her kids. When I was a kid, I thought this was terrible. But now that I am growing up and understanding more of what marriage really is and what it really symbolizes, I think this is great. My mom has never lived for her kids. She also doesn't live for my dad. But knowing that my mom was always on my dad's side helped me understand marriage more. Their marriage isn't perfect, but it's a good picture of commitment for me to witness.
My mom cares about what I care about even if she wouldn't care about it on her own. My mom asks me about my interests. She asks me about my writing. She wants to know me better by understanding my interests more. She doesn't have to do this, but she does it anyway.
My relationship with my mom used to be terrible. No, that's an understatement. My former relationship with my mom was the worst relationship I will ever experience. Her actions hurt me, and my words hurt her. You probably didn't pick up on any of that in the previous facts. The things above are all happy memories, but there are also a lot of painful memories for both of us. However, there was and is redemption. My mom is now in my inner circle in life.
God redeemed my relationship with my mom. God changed me and my attitude toward my mom. God changed my mom and her attitude toward me. My mom forgave me, and I forgave her. My mom's forgiveness toward me means so much, and my mom's willingness to ask for forgiveness means so much more. My mom is humble, loving, and forgiving. My mom shows me Jesus.
My mom also shows me the power of Jesus. God changed my mom in ways that I once thought were impossible. She is free from her former sin. Her life is an example of how God never gives up on us; we are not stuck in our sin. There is a way out; there is hope, and it's in Jesus. My mom is growing in her faith, and it is encouraging and challenging to witness.
I am so thankful for my mom. I am so thankful that God has done great things in her life, and that I have been there to experience it. I am so thankful that she has taught me great life lessons and that she has shown me great love. I am thankful that our relationship has been redeemed. And I am thankful that today is her birthday, that she has another year of life to celebrate.
Happy birthday, Mom! I hope you, our family, and your friends celebrate well! And I hope the little daycare kids reminded you of how great today is as your birthday!
(And happy birthday, Uncle Mike! It must be tough being a twin and sharing your birthday!)
No comments:
Post a Comment