I have been spending a lot of time driving in my car lately. Road trips for work, weddings, and visiting family have been more frequent than usual in my world.
Yet I'm still enjoying it. The drives are nice moments for being alone. I have my typical road trip routine. It involves lots of caffeine and loud music. Loud music is probably an understatement. The music drowns out my voice which screams along. I also dance as much as one can while driving. It's my time to be alone and ridiculous.
Somehow, those loud, chaotic moments are some of my favorites. Music speaks to my soul.
During a four-hour drive the other week, I was listening to a musical, and I realized that my entire attitude was slowly changing. As I dwelt on the lyrics, I began to take on the emotions of the character. I didn't want to feel overwhelmed and hurt, so I stopped the soundtrack and turned on a playlist of hymns.
In that moment, I realized that music deeply affects me. Certain songs inspire all-to-real-flashbacks. That soundtrack takes me back to my summer at home between Ghana and Eastern Europe. I can all too easily relive my confusion and difficult transition while hearing those songs.
Ja Rule and other related music throws me back to middle school. Thankfully, my musical preferences have matured since then.
The life-changing decision and transition that happened Christmas break of my senior year of college was comforted by "Forever Reign" playing on repeat for days.
My sleepless nights in Ghana were less lonely thanks to Enter the Worship Ciricle's "Chair and Microphone, Vol. 3" and Page CXVI.
When I try to recall what country certain events happened in this past year, I think about the music that played through those moments. Our second month is associated with Ascend the Hill's "Hymns" and Rend Collective's Campfire while cleaning and doing the dishes.
My morning walks to meetings and my evenings and days off sitting on the balcony in Constanta, Romania were brightened up by Rend Collective's "The Art of Celebration". And I will always think of climbing the stairs to the men's apartment when I hear "More Than Conquerors"; that's just how my morning walk timed out.
My favorite is the song that reminded me of my hope when times were hard in Eastern Europe this past spring: Page CXVI's "I Love the Lord".
It played on repeat while I walked through small town Macedonia. When my heart ached for home and dreaded goodbyes, Page CXVI reminded me that Jesus is worth so much more.
The lyrics are
And even now, when I hear that song, I think of walking in the rain, holding my umbrella, and seeing views like this:
O let my heart no more despair while I have breath, breath to prayI love The Lord He chased my griefs awayDespair no more and use this breath to prayTo pray, to prayMy flesh declined, my spirits fell and I drew near the deadReturn my soul to God thy rest for thou hast known, known His loveI love The Lord He chased my griefs awayDespair no more and use this breath to prayTo pray, to prayMy God I cried thy servant saveThy power can rescue me from the graveMy God hath saved my soul from death and dried my falling tearsNow to His praise I'll spend my breath and my remain, remaining yearsI love The Lord He chased my griefs awayDespair no more and use this breath to prayTo pray, to pray
I am beyond thankful for music to remind me of where my hope lies. I am beyond thankful for memories where God met me in my confusion and invited me into something more (even though the confusion sometimes continued). And I'm grateful for songs that take me back allowing me to nearly relive those moments and remember more of God's faithfulness.
What songs take you back and remind you of God's faithfulness? (If you post it, I'll listen to it! I'm all for finding new music.)
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