Recognizing Changes

I have been back in South Dakota for two and a half months. That still seems weird. [Fun fact: I started writing this post when I had been back for a month. I've been a terrible blogger lately. I apologize.]

In May, I was in Tbilisi, Georgia. 

One day as I was walking down the street, I passed a flower shop with a beautiful outdoor display. I had passed it frequently in the previous weeks, but that day I realized that I gravitated toward different flowers than I did earlier in the year. I didn't smile when I saw white roses. My entire being was given an extra boost of joy when I saw daisies. 

That seems completely unimportant, but for as long as I can remember white roses have been my favorite flowers. The Swan Princess greatly influenced me as a child. Red roses are not right; they must be white -- like a swan. (Seriously, you need to see that movie if you haven't. It's ridiculous yet marvelous.)

One sunny morning, I realized that my favorite flower changed. As I contemplated the significance of that small change, I wondered what else has changed in me this year. 

So I began thinking back on the year trying to discover how I have changed. Since I've been back, I have seen even more ways I am different as well as ways that I am still the same. 

Some of the changes I'm recognizing include:

1. A preference for daisies over white roses.
2. Fewer words come out of my mouth. 
3. Part of that last change is due to a desire to use less and less sarcasm. 
4. Part of that is because I am learning more and more that my words matter -- what we say matters.
5. I cry in public, and I don't care who sees. I can't hide my emotions well anymore, and that's okay. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is tell others the truth, and let the tears fall.
6. Social injustice infuriates me. It has for years (which is why I majored in Social Work), but I can't let it go unexcused anymore. This year I have found myself speaking out against comments that promote stereotypes and social injustice more than ever before. And I get sick-to-my-stomach-angry and nearly burst into tears. And I think my reaction becomes stronger as I continue to grow in my understanding of the gospel. 
7. I intentionally show up late to large group gatherings. I normally hate being late, so I leave unnecessarily early for meetings, but large group gatherings are not my forte. (That is most definitely not new.) I just no longer think it's strange to intentionally show up 20 or 30 minutes late. 
8. I want to be hospitable. I want to have people come over for tea. I want my home to homey and welcoming.
9. I speed less. I used to take back roads and pretend like the speed limit was a very small suggestion. Now I consistently drive at a slower speed. Maybe I'm giving myself more time. Maybe I appreciate the rare opportunities to jam loudly while alone more than before. I don't know. What I do know is that I am much less likely to get pulled over for a lead foot.
10. I can handle small talk better than before this year. I still don't enjoy it, but the skill development is helpful on the daily.
11. I crave sparkling water. It's a wonderful thing. I really wish it would catch on across America.

I'm sure there's more. When I came home from my year in Ghana, people would casually tell me how I had changed. Change is a good thing. It involves development. And I changed this past year. And it's good. What a relief. 

The change went beyond my surroundings and company. What a relief.

I'm excited to work on continuing to recognize changes for the rest of my life. I want to keep changing, to keep developing.

How have you changed recently -- in your fun flower preferences and in your deeper convictions?