Waking up hours after midnight missed calls
Nervous texts
"Hey call me bad news love you"
"Hey, call me as soon as you can."
Do not disturb mode spared me earlier heartache
Before returning calls, I knew our family was hurting
I had never imagined it would be you
I feel lost in a Vonnegut novel
Like Billy jumping from memory to memory
Reliving each one
As if I too have mastered the time travel secrets of Tralfamadore
But this is not fiction
This is reality
Full of pain
So it goes
Memories bringing comfort, grief, confusion
All at once
The baby boy who surprised us by not being a girl
The baby boy who had a useless pink wardrobe awaiting his arrival
The baby with a big head and a love for Winnie the Pooh
The sweetest baby whom I adored
Your drool dripping all over me as we played
Our giggles matching
The toddler who loved to play hide and seek
You loved to be found
That was the true reward
The young boy who would play board games for hours
Who loved to be shirtless like his dad
Who knew Mopars were a source of joy
Who was our source of joy
The older boy who needed to throw toward the stairs in Wii bowling
Who always overbid in pinochle to annoy his cousins
Who lent me his room in the summers
Who made summer an extra joyful time
The teenager who remained sweet
Playing video games
Yet always creating time for family
Teasing little sisters who giggled with adoration for the perfect big brother
Who loved life and people well
The responsible young man
Consistently dependable
Full of laughter and jokes
Up for any adventure
How could we imagine you would be gone?
You who have always been there for all of us
You who had so much yet ahead
It was you
We are hurting
Weeping
Tossing and turning
Unsure how the world can continue without you
We force ourselves to remember our hope is in the Christ
The firstborn from the dead
Who will come again and raise the dead
Who will be faithful to his promise to restore you
No comments:
Post a Comment