A New Dream That's Not for Me

In a few of my recent posts, I've mentioned a book that changed my perspective and planted a new dream in my heart. 

The book is Missing Stars, Fallen Sparrows. The dream is Young Life Capernaum in Sioux Falls.

I understand that many of you have no idea what that means, and that's okay. I'm excited to introduce you to both.

The book is by Nick Palermo. He's the founder of Capernaum, and he recently wrote and published his story. It's not the whole story of Capernaum, but it's a good introduction. (The whole story would probably be too long for publishers to be interested.)

I honestly was wary of the book. It's one more person involved in ministry writing a book about his experiences. Is he even a decent writer? Did someone (anyone) edit his book? I was expecting a no; I have crossed too many Christian nonfiction books like that. But it wasn't like that. I enjoyed the story. It seemed well-written. It's not eloquent prose, but it's honest and gets the job done. I'd recommend it.

Even though I had my reservations, I bought the book. I wanted to know about how a different branch of Young Life was launched. I was expecting a good story, but I picked up the book (actually my Kindle) knowing that Capernaum wasn't for me. It just wasn't.

Some of you may still be wondering what Capernaum actually is. Sorry about the delay there.

Young Life is a ministry that is focused on coming alongside teens and sharing life and Jesus with them. It's a beautiful thing. My Young Life leader helped me understand who Jesus is when I was younger, and God used my relationship with her to teach me what it means to follow Jesus. (Thanks, Karen!)

Capernaum is for teens and young adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Here's a short video that introduces Capernaum:

Capernaum is a neat and necessary thing. I thought that before I read Missing Stars, Fallen Sparrows.

But Palermo's book still made me cry. I cried in every chapter, so I read this book solely in the safety of my empty apartment. Throughout the book, there are so many beautiful pictures of who Jesus is and how he interacted with people during his time on earth and how he interacts with Capernaum students in the 20th and 21st centuries.

After every chapter, Palermo inserts a brief "consider" section. Sometimes he simply asks questions to make the reader think, but other times he challenges the reader to step out of his or her comfort zone and meet people with disabilities. 

As I read the book, I kept thinking, "This is beautiful, but it's not for me." I've never worked with people with disabilities. I have never had the desire to do so. I honestly have avoided interacting with people with intellectual or physical disabilities. People with those types of disabilities are unknown to me, and entering into the unknown is terrifying. I would just rather not. 

I read the book knowing that I wouldn't ever be a Capernaum leader. It simply wasn't for me.

But as I kept reading, I realized that Capernaum and other ministries seeking out those with intellectual or physical disabilities understand the gospel. They follow Jesus' example closely.

Here are some quotes from Palermo's book that helped reshape my thought-process and attitude: [Emphasis added. Page numbers are not included in the Kindle version of this book. Sorry!]

• We need new eyes from Jesus to see the invisible people in our culture. But there's more. When our eyes are opened to those hidden to us, we see something else. We begin to see ourselves. Why have I been so blind? Why didn't I notice? What's going on with me? I am part of a culture that includes millions of people with disabilities, but we're blind to them and refuse to acknowledge them, let alone welcome them.
• With Jesus, people came first, way before rules, religious traditions, or trying to gain the approval of those around Him. In Jesus, exiles and outcasts found acceptance, inclusion and belonging. Should we provide anything less when we encounter people with disabilities?
• Jesus lovingly responded with these words of encouragement, "Go tell John what you saw and heard here. The blind can see, the crippled can walk, and people with skin diseases are healed. The deaf can hear, the dead are raised to life and the Good News is preached to the poor." (Luke 7:22) Strikingly, Jesus defines His ministry almost exclusively in terms of disability. It's not that Jesus doesn't care for all people, but His special emphasis seems aimed at the poor and broken. Those who know their dire need and are desperate for help. As Jesus said, it's not the healthy that need a doctor, but the sick. The truth is we are all sick, but only some of us know it and know enough to get help. Or, we know we're diseased but our pride or unbelief keeps us from asking for the help we need. Jesus is interested in the helpless, those who both know their condition and where to go and get it fixed.
• Human beings are created in God's image. Every one of us! Not some. Not most. Every human being. Disability does not nullify or hide the image of God as displayed in His creation. When we know and believe this, our view and treatment of someone with a disability changes radically.
• My friends with disabilities shout out, "We are not what we produce or what we're afraid to reveal to others. We are children of God!" My friends are like the suffering servant of Isaiah 53. We esteem them not and, in many circles, consider them the result of sin or tragedy. These so-called tragedies value me simply because I spend time with them. They really don't even care how good Club was. They really don't care about how well I can do a Club talk. They absolutely do not care about my titles, degrees or successes. They care only about one title: Friend. 
• Capernaum is a place where someone with a disability will hear "Yes!" instead of "No." A place of belonging, where she or he can begin to explore who they are, who God is, and where their dreams might take them.
• When we say "No" to our friends with disabilities and refuse to do whatever it takes to welcome them into our churches, we inadvertently present a Jesus who doesn't know their name.
• A disability ministry is not attractive. It takes way more resources to put up way smaller numbers. Everything moves slower and takes longer, and all that effort can appear insignificant to those who are geared to an ROI (return-on-investment) mentality that requires revenue and/or increasing numbers to justify its existence. When we see Jesus singling out an outcast woman from the crowd and listening to her entire story while Jairus' daughter is dying, we see the Jesus of the less and the least. One needy, disabled person means everything to Him, even if it often doesn't to others.

Capernaum means "village of comfort." It's a fitting name for a ministry for those who are frequently ignored. It seeks to offer the comfort of Jesus to students who are often excluded.

I tried to avoid this ministry. I didn't want to join it. I was fine with hearing the stories and knowing that God is working in the lives of Capernaum students around the world. 

But thankfully, God wasn't fine with that. He wants to make my heart more like his. When my heart is more like his, my actions will also be more like his. God grew my heart to reach out to those who are ignored, avoided, and excluded. God gave me the desire to not only be a Capernaum leader but also take the initiative to launch the ministry in my college town so that I can be a leader. It's more than a tiny miracle, friends.

This journey is also changing how I understand the gospel. One of my favorite stories from Jesus' time on earth is the story of blind Bartimaeus in Mark 10:46-52

Then they reached Jericho, and as Jesus and his disciples left town, a large crowd followed him. A blind beggar named Bartimaeus (son of Timaeus) was sitting beside the road. When Bartimaeus heard that Jesus of Nazareth was nearby, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”
“Be quiet!” many of the people yelled at him.
But he only shouted louder, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”
When Jesus heard him, he stopped and said, “Tell him to come here.”
So they called the blind man. “Cheer up,” they said. “Come on, he’s calling you!” Bartimaeus threw aside his coat, jumped up, and came to Jesus.
“What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked.
“My rabbi,” the blind man said, “I want to see!”
And Jesus said to him, “Go, for your faith has healed you.” Instantly the man could see, and he followed Jesus down the road.

 I have gone back to this story many times in the last year. It's a beautiful picture of how Jesus interacts with us even when everyone else tries to silence us. When he changes us and we understand the significance of that healing, there's nothing we desire to do more than follow him. It's so beautiful.

But when I read it a few days after finishing Palermo's book, I finally understood that Bart was actually blind. It's not just a metaphor. It's not like the spiritual blindness most of us would equate it to. Bart was blind. He couldn't see. No one cared. No one wanted to help him. But Jesus calls him over. Jesus speaks with him -- asks Bart what he can do for him. Jesus heals him. Bart is no longer blind. 

That is beautiful. And it happens over and over again in the stories of Jesus' life -- not with Bart but with others who are physically disabled. Jesus took the time to show love, compassion, and mercy to the disabled and other social outcasts. He called them by name. 

I want to follow his example. I know it will be challenging. I know there will be moments when I simply do not understand what my future friends are saying. I won't fully understand their social situations. I won't understand how hard it is to be in a minority that is ignored by the rest of society. But I want to know. I want to experience it (even though entering into that world seems terrifying). I want to know these beautiful individuals by name, not just by their evident disability. I want to show them that God knows them by name, that he cares, that he is willing to enter into their world. I want to see the Kingdom grow. I want to trust that when Jesus said he came for the sick and outcasts, he meant it. 

Being a Capernaum leader has always been for me. I just didn't know it until recently.

What does it look like for you to say "Yes" to people with disabilities and show them the Jesus who know them by name?