Thankfully, I can trust that quite a few of you are right there with me. Go team!
Here's a recent example of this problem in my life: God called me to do a second year with Cru overseas. That's so exciting! He's so faithful, and I know next year will be a year of seeing him do incredible things. I want to spread the Good News of Jesus throughout Eastern Europe. But I want to please my family and friends back home too. As soon as I decided to apply for a second year, I dreaded telling everyone my news. I knew it was good and right, but I didn't want to hurt or disappoint anyone. When you say, "Check ya later. Have a good year," someone is going to be hurt and / or disappointed. It's inevitable. Ick.
I've listened to others wrestle with this conflict too. One dear friend of mine has also been called overseas but greatly dislikes facing the hurt that others are experiencing because of the change. Another cares greatly about social justice for orphans but has dreaded writing a paper about it because others have the opportunity to respond with criticism. And still another wants to embrace her time of singleness but wrestles with it as so many others are in relationships and have that unspoken expectation for her as well.
We all have a choice to make: do we take the risk in an attempt to change the world, or do we back off from that to please the people around us?
I'm learning that taking the risk is the better option; oftentimes, it's the only real option.
Last month, I wrote about fear and taking risks. In that post, I mentioned Matt Appling's book Life After Art. I finally finished his book today - it's not terribly long; I've just been bouncing between too many books. Oops.
When his book first came out, Matt Appling had a special deal for the early readers: he added a copy of the e-book with an additional chapter. Below is an excerpt from that chapter (creatively titled "Epilogue"); this part is from his "No Honor in Your Hometown" section of the chapter.
As you go about life, attempting to make some sort of positive mark on the world as a creator, it is inevitable that your quest will be met with the unflinchingly blank stare of people who just do not understand what you are up to. Many of the most enduring artists were misunderstood in their time. We now say that they were "ahead of their time."
Don't let your ego get in the way and trick you into thinking that if no one understands you, it is not just because you are "ahead of your time," and everyone around you are ignorant clods. But you should certainly be prepared to get blank looks from some people who just cannot relate to what you are trying to do. If your vision is to see all of your belongings and move to Africa to live in a hut with bush people, expect looks of bewilderment. It does not matter how clearly you articulate yourself, your goals, or how you believe this is God's plan for your life. Some people just will not buy it. They will think you are crazy. Even if your goals are very small, modest, or utterly reasonable to you, there will be someone who thinks you are crazy to pursue it.
Jesus understood this. After supporting his family as a carpenter until age thirty, he finally began traveling around the countryside, preaching and performing miracles. People from the neighboring towns were beginning to put their faith in him as a genuine prophet; perhaps even the Messiah spoken about in the scriptures. He was gathering great crowds of followers everywhere he went ...
... Except when he went home.
When Jesus returned home, the people he had lived with for three decades, his own family and neighbors did not understand what he was up to. They did not catch the vision he was casting. They gave Jesus bewildered looks, as if he was a crazy man. It must have hurt him, to think that the people who had watched him grow up, who were most personally connected to him throughout his childhood did not believe him.
Jesus reflected on that, saying that only in his hometown does a prophet not have honor.
Consider the job of creator to be something like that of a prophet.You may inspire a lot of people. You may win favor among many. You may change hearts and minds ...
... But some people will think you are crazy. Or stupid. Or both.
They may be the people closest to you, your friends or family. They may smile politely and nod affirmatively when you tell them about what you are up to, but you will be able to read through their looks of tacit approval and know that they do not really "get it."
That is not a sign of defeat. Nor is it a sign that your goals are not worthy and noble. Ultimately, we have to gauge the reaction of the people around us against what our hearts tell us is right.It may not seem like an encouraging excerpt at first, but I find a lot of comfort in it.
Now, my family has been beautifully supportive of my choice to live overseas. It hurts them, but they love me enough to rejoice with me. Yet, sometimes their reaction is that blank stare - that dreaded "are you serious?" type of response.
I think I found comfort in Matt Appling's words because as I read them, I knew I wasn't alone. Matt gets what I'm going through. And better yet, Jesus gets what I'm going through.
I know I'm not "ahead of my time," but I also know that some people think I'm being ridiculous for the decisions I've made in the last year and a half. And I know that their reaction ultimately does not matter. I take a lot of comfort in that truth. I don't need to be a people-pleaser. Again, I, Kayla, do not need to be a people-pleaser! Hallelujah! Instead, I just need to follow Jesus' example. I need to listen to what God calls me to do and see if the world is changed while I'm at it.
You see, we're going to end up doing something. And even if it's the easiest, safest thing, someone is going to give us that annoying blank stare. We might as well do what we know is right, follow God, and forget about pleasing people. We might as well create beauty instead of that people-pleasing ugliness we would rather avoid.
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